Introduction to my blog

I am morbidly obese. I have been obese so long it is part of my identity. I really want to change that. Since I started putting on weight when I was six, I have over 40 years of wishing I was thin. It can be quite depressing.

I compare obesity to a person standing in a deep hole without a rope or ladder. There are some that are able to dig themselves out without the rope or the ladder and others get part of the way up but then slide back down. All the while, there are people peeping down the hole, giving directions on how to get out or telling you that it is your own fault that you are in a hole. Or telling you how they know many people who have dug their way out of that hole successfully and telling you that a rope or ladder is not needed. Some people just laugh at you for being in the hole.

Some people are so convinced of their own inadequacy or defeated that even if the rope is made available to them, they don't use it because they want to show the world that they can get out of the hole without it or they are ashamed if they admit they need a rope.

If you imagine yourself in that hole, imagine how that would feel. It is easy to just sit in the hole and give up after so many attempts to get out. You start to feel it is impossible.

That is when you lose hope and just eat or binge or whatever got you to that place in the beginning. Which makes matters worse because you often weigh even more the next time you make that attempt to climb out of the hole.

I am embarking on a journey to lose weight and end my lifelong struggle with binge eating. How I got to be 46 years old and not realize that I am a binge eater is beyond me. I wanted to name this blog "Confessions of a scale whore". My southern lady sensibilities stopped me. I wasn't sure everybody would get the joke. When I am dieting, I love to jump on the scale. The scale can be my best friend or my worst enemy. It is usually my worst enemy. Why can't I get rid of the scale for good?